Drunk Messaging

Hello everybody,

Today's post is about drunk dialing. I must start off by stating that this blog is NOT in a direct response to a specific message that I received one night, HOWEVER said message did inspire me to write this. I apologize to anyone who my think that this is reference to them, because it is, but only kind of.

Okay, now that is out of the way. When you are drunk it is okay to want to converse with people. I would like to just say on behalf of all the sober people in the world, DO NOT call us. There is a reason the first 3 people you called did not pick up, and no it does not make me feel any better to think that you only decided to call me after you have tried and failed several other times trying to reach other people. Alas my inebriated friends there is an alternative!

The answer is Facebook, or myspace, or email. These non-verbal types of communication are much nicer. First of all, the recipients do not feel pressure to respond immediately and are not awoken at 3 in the morning. Instead the barely comprehensible message can sit and wait for the morn. Secondly, this is also a lot funnier for the recipient. When you call, usually I will jus get upset and pissed off, I know a number of people would agree. A message though, is usually typed so poorly that half the fun is trying to follow the context of the message. Also we now have proof that you are indeed a fool when drunk. I like to hold on to these messages and forward them back to the sender the next morning, which has probably forgot that they have done so, and see their reaction, which is usually embarrassment. This I find very entertaining.

It is important to note that you only use the private message section of social networks and email, not instant messages or wall posts. These are obnoxious and ultimately make both parties either angry or embarrassed. Text messaging, also a no no. This too can be annoying to the recipient, but if you must it is certainly preferred to a call.

To all you people out there (all five that I actually think read this), you have been forewarned. I urge all of those who choose to engage in using mind or judgment altering substances to be responsible in the way they spread the inebriated joy!

-Toaster